Back in time

I talked to a friend today and our conversation took me back.
Back to before we took our first step on our first journey.
Back to when Holly and I first started talking adoption. Back when it was a casual conversation that we might do "someday".

And then she showed me the picture. The sweetest little girl and for the first time I said "that's my daughter".
I remember it so clearly, I even said it out loud. I could finally see myself as a dad. Now, how do we get her? We hit the phones hard, and what there was of  dial up internet.
A man named mose----sent us her video and I was in love.
It's a God thing, it has to be. When/how can I get her? That's consumed all my mind and all my time.

But after much investigation we found out it was a scam.
 I was crushed.
 It was the first time We would cry during the adoption process.

 Now, looking back I can see "the hand that guided us" on our journey. But in that moment I was done, done with the whole mess. I thought it was "A  God thing" and instead it broke my heart.
Of course those of you that know us and have followed as we built our family know it wasn't the end of our journey but instead the beginning.

But even now on the eve of our Journey to get Luke. I think of that little girl. I wonder where she is, is she happy? Is she healthy? Is she loved?
Sometimes in those few quite moments in my life I pray for her. Trusting my Father, (the giver of all good things) and knowing she is/was carefully placed in his plan.

In the end, it was a "God thing" for if our hearts had never been broken there never would have been an opening For Andrew , Elizabeth, Hannah, or even our newest, Luke.
God just needed to see we were willing, He already had my kids picked out. I just didn't know It yet.